Not Bronx Material

I was at the Tower Theater on Saturday night. While waiting for a beer, I happened upon a couple of Yankees fans hanging around one of the entrances to the seating area. They were clearly inebriated and trying to start a fight with someone. They were discussing how Cliff Lee was "not bronx material" and that he should "take his beard back to gay porn", among other things. I'm not entirely sure what that last one means, but it's the only one I can recall that I'd feel comfortable posting on a PG-13 site such as this.

It didn't seem like any of the Phillies fans in attendance took the bait, although one was kind enough to tell them to shut up and get a room (apparently they were loud enough that you could hear them over the music if you sat close enough). While I still think Phillies fans have become just as bad as Yankee fans (if not worse) when it comes to expectations of success, at least we can find better things to pick fights about when we're out of town.

So today's fact is that Cliff Lee is "Not Bronx Material". That must be why they have won 4 less games than the Phillies :)

World Fucking Champions

How to enrage philly fans:

Cliff vs. Jayson

This is pretty awesome, and incredibly realistic. Love the shots at the Mets and Cowboys thrown in.

We're Baaaack

They say you don't get a second chance at a player like Cliff Lee. But they are idiots, and there isn't another player like Cliff Lee.

On December 13th, 2010 the Phifer gave the city of Philadelphia an early Christmas gift the likes of which has never been seen. It's not about him turning down the extra money, or the Phillies out-yanking the Yankees. It's not about the Phillies putting together one of the best pitching staffs in the history of the game.

While he did all those things, the biggest (and rarest) gift of all was saved for the day after, when he got the Philadelphia fans at least a couple of mentions from national news outlets. Not the usual mentions (I didn't even hear the word Santa) but talk about what a great place to play Philly is.

While Cliff never left, this site surely did. Luckily, no Seattle fans were up to the task of taking it over, so it lay dormant waiting for just this day. We have loads of facts collected from the twitters, and now we've got a reason to start looking at them again. Stay tuned, hopefully it will be a longer ride this time.

Ruben Kills the Winter Meetings

Word out of Indianapolis is that Phillies GM Ruben Amaro Jr. is killing them at the winter meetings. Quite literally. Billy Beane and Ned Colletti were pronounced dead at the scene, and Theo Epstein was rushed to the ER, where he is in serious but stable condition. Ed Wade was also pronounced dead at the scene, only to hop off the stretcher en route to the ambulance (much to the chagrin of Astros fans). Talking with reporters after the game, Wade explained that it was a defense mechanism he built up over the years. "You act like this is the first time some dude from Philly tried to kill me", he quipped as the reporters stared in disbelief.

According to eyewitness accounts, Amaro told the funniest joke in the history of the winter meetings, and quite possibly the world. The mainstream media does not want to report it, because it makes their funny pages look like television instruction manuals written by Congress, but the intrepid reporters of Cliff Lee Facts have gotten their hands on the joke, printed here in its' entirety:

We are willing to listen to offers for Cliff Lee

There was apparently only one individual in the room who was not amused. Former Blue Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi, who was reportedly busing tables at the event, promptly offered half of a bacon-wrapped scallop, three soiled napkins, and 10% of his tips.

Upon hearing Ricciardi's offer, Ed Wade really did die.

Of Course They Wouldn't

The reason I started this blog was because I was afraid that domain squatters had seized the CliffLeeFacts domain of the .com variety. Silly me. I should have known that the spammers, squatters, phishers and other unsavory characters of the internets would know better than to take Cliff Lee's name in vain. If anyone is keeping score, this makes it good guys 1, internet villains 8,543,234,967,279,516,003,975.

Anyway, the good folks who brought us Cole Hamels Facts have indeed secured the official Cliff Lee Facts site, and appear better able to dedicate time to it than our humble crew, and this is a great thing for Cliff Lee Facts.

We will still be blogging here from time to time, when a fact merits more discussion than a numbered item in a list, but there should only be one list of facts to rule them all. And blogger is probably not the place for it.

May the peace of Cliff be always with you.

Fact #something-something else

WS 3:1ish

Even Eddie Vedder is nowhere close to the man cliff lee, at singing.

But he's still pretty good, so all three contributors to this blog will be at seeing Pearl Jam performing in the last event ever to be held in the Wachovia Spectrum tomorrow night.

In related news from October 28th...

WS 1:10?

There is no Eddie Vedder, Cliff Lee also played at the spectrum tonight.

In addition to pitching a complete game in the WFS?? Damn that guy's good.